Anxiety is, not.

Anxiety is not a joke

People often say, “Him? LOL! He is a scaredy-cat, Always anxious”. Well, anxiety is not a joke. It’s something serious and is not trivial. People get anxious for various reasons and one must be empathetic towards them. It may be due to some traumatic past or hard situations that makes them act defensive. Understand that they are going through something painful, uncontrollable and they are scared. 

Anxiety is not a choice

“Don’t be anxious like this! You always choose to think like this!”. No. Anxiety is not a choice. Emotions are cascades of powerful thought and no one can ever stop them. Especially, fear as it is a basic human instinct. When a person goes into anxiety, they not only ruminate on the past but also of the present and the future. Telling them that it is a choice will only add on to their fears that something is wrong with them and not help them calm down. 

Anxiety is not a weakness

“You are one scared weakling!”. Understand that people who have anxiety disorders and continue with their daily lives are the strongest of all the people. Body strength is not the only strength. In an anxiety attack, people don’t just think of the situations but live through them and feel them as a reality. Yet, functioning with all that requires an immense amount of energy and strength. It is not a weakness. Moreover, in some cases, it’s a reaction towards a higher level of caring and trying far beyond their measure. 

Anxiety is not a disease

Yes, it’s not a disease. Understanding that anxiety is not a disease but a disorder is paramount. It can be managed and treated. Anxiety disorders kick in when there is an excessive amount of fear, that so much so hinders their day to day life. Don’t isolate them and mistreat them. Of all, they need your support and love that can heal them. 

Anxiety is not momentary 

Anxiety is not a mood swing that comes and goes in a moment. It is a state of perpetual fear. People with this disorder constantly remain with their fears and go about their life. When they are expressing their fears, they don’t get it suddenly and that goes away just like that. They have to live with this daily. Though drastic, it is manageable and medication is not the only solution. 

Anxiety is not attention-seeking

People facing anxiety disorders are not pretending to get attention. It a real reaction that they are having. People face extreme emotions often leaving them helpless. They may even undergo severe pain both mentally and physically. 

Anxiety: How to help?

1. 1. When you see a person spiralling, make them feel comfortable and make them feel safe. Give them a glass of water if need be. Use some grounding techniques to help them clam down. 
2. 2. Instead of mocking them, try to understand their point of view. If it is not reasonable, be gentle in telling them and be patient. Even if it means to tell them a thousand times. With time they will be able to help themselves under such situations. 
3. 3. Talk to them don’t advice. Listen to them and not just hear. If you are not in the position to help them, then the best thing to do is to step back and guide them to someone who can render that help. 
4. 4. Re-assure them and not make them re-think. Don’t tell them, “think like this, don’t think negative or be positive” It will never aid them truly. Instead, hold their hands and tell that you are there with them through the process.

Writer: Manojj Dhinakaran